Family ,,OLD STORY,,
by xLaramiex
Summary: Maerad and Cadvan find a child in a small town. Who is she? And why is she following them?
1. Chapter 1

_Haha I had this idea in part for a collab fanfic, but when I started writing I realised I had more ideas for it than I had thought, and I couldn't stop writing. So now, enjoy._

_Thanks to my unofficial beta, Brie...and landi :D_

The sky was an unpromising grey, holding the threat of rain before too long. Maerad glanced up at it before her eyes settled on Cadvan playing with a small child. He was surprisingly good with children. They had stopped in a small village for food and lodgings, and this child had been following them since they arrived. She looked to be around a year old.

The houses were small in this village, and there were few people about. Those who did pass could spare a nod or a smile for the pair. The walls of the houses were grubby and the windows, such as they were, were in a similar state.

Cadvan covered his face with his hands, then removed them again, showing the girl a big grin and saying "peek-a-boo!", causing her to giggle and clap her hands clumsily.

"Why are you following Maerad and I?" he asked the girl gently.

"Mumma gone," she replied, sucking on her bottom lip. This pulled on Maerad's heart; it was clear that where the girl's mother had gone to, she was not coming back.

"What about your dad?" Maerad asked, crouching down next to Cadvan in front of the girl.

The girl stared at Maerad with her big eyes. "No dadda," she said, clinging to Cadvan's arm. Maerad looked up at Cadvan and was surprised to see turmoil on his face. He gently disentangled his arm and put both of them around the girl, then stood up, holding the girl balanced on his hip.

"We can't just leave her," Cadvan said. "I saw a girl like her when I was about ten, in my village. She asked me to help her and I didn't know what to do, so I left her." He bit his lip, and Maerad was surprised to see the shine of tears in his eyes. "I saw her a week later. She was...She was dead."

"What shall we do with her? We can't put her in an orphanage. We know what they're like."

"No. I agree that that's not an option. We should ask a family to adopt her, but I think no one in this village will take her. They cannot afford a child."

Maerad was longing for Cadvan to say that they should take her, but it would not be practical and would also be very dangerous for her.

"What's your name?" Cadvan asked, to stave off the moment when he would have to make a decision.

"Lara," said the girl with a grin. Maerad's heart almost broke that a child in her situation could still smile.

"We should ask at the inn," Cadvan decided. "And make certain she has no parents. We should not make Samaritans of ourselves where none are needed; we would instead be regarded as Darkness itself for snatching a child."

Maerad smiled in approval. "Good idea," she agreed, and Cadvan set off for the inn, Lara clinging to him. Maerad felt a pang she couldn't identify, and hurried to catch up with Cadvan to take Lara off him. The happy girl grinned up at Maerad, and Maerad couldn't help but grin back.

"Aren't you beautiful?" Maerad asked her in a jolly voice. "My name's Maerad. Can you say Maerad?" Lara stared at her for a second, face twisted in concentration.

"Mae-a," she said.

"Mae-rad," Maerad repeated slowly.

"Mae-a."

"And this is Cadvan," Maerad continued, indicating Cadvan. "Can you say Cadvan?"

"Cad-a," Lara returned.

"Cad-van."

"Cad-a." Maerad was too busy with Lara to notice Cadvan was watching her with a smile on his face. Had she been paying attention, she would have seen the trace of pride in his smile.

They had reached the inn, and Cadvan held open the door for Maerad to go through.

"After you, Mae-a," he teased.

"Thanks, Cad-a," Maerad teased right back, and Cadvan chuckled. They approached the innkeeper and asked him if he knew the girl's parents.

"Aye, I do. Her da left them when she were a babe, and her ma died not two weeks back. I've been giving her little scraps when I can, but it's not good for her. I refuse to send her to an orphanage, though."

Maerad and Cadvan exchanged a look.

"Maerad and I would be willing to find her a family, if that would be agreeable," Cadvan suggested diplomatically.

"Aye, that would be most helpful," the man agreed, nodding. "T'would take a load off my mind, it would. We're not the worst off around here, but we can't afford to spare."

Cadvan politely excused them, and they retired to their room. Cadvan was sleeping on the sofa, and Maerad decided to sleep with Lara. This decision was rather forced upon her by the fact that Lara refused to let her go. This quietly delighted her, but she had no idea how they would manage to take her on the horses.

As night fell, Maerad lay with Lara in the bed and Lara seemed to be about to go to sleep quietly, but as Cadvan went to lie on the sofa, she reached out a grasping hand saying, "Cad-a! Cad-a!" Cadvan turned.

"I'll just be over here," he promised. "I won't be far."

"Cad-a! Here!"

Cadvan obediently went over to the bed, and Lara grasped his hand. Maerad noticed him trying not to smile. "Here," Lara said again, and both of them realised that she meant him to sleep there. Cadvan met Maerad's eyes shyly.

"Perhaps…just until she goes to sleep," he suggested, and Maerad nodded; so Cadvan climbed up awkwardly next to them. Lara grasped both their hands and closed her eyes, her long blond lashes laying against her pale skin. She breathed deeply and calmly, blissfully unaware of the awkwardness of the two adults next to her, lying as far away from each other as the narrow bed would allow. After 10 minutes of nervous silence, Cadvan sat up, thinking Lara to be asleep, but Lara's hand tightened around his fingers and he looked back to see her big blue eyes staring at him.

"Cad-a," she said sleepily, and Cadvan lay back down again.

"It's alright, Lara," he soothed. "Go to sleep."

_To be continued..._

_How adorable is Lara? Please review, and if you could tell me what you think could be improved and what you liked about it you would make me sooooo happy :P_

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	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Cadvan awoke in bed. He wondered briefly why he was in a bed, since he had agreed to sleep on the sofa, then realised that he must have fallen asleep by accident. He sat up with a start as he remembered the full events of last night, and saw that, although Lara was still lying next to him, Maerad was fast asleep on the sofa. Very gently, so as not to wake her, Cadvan pulled Lara closer to him. He had never thought about having children until he met Ceredin, but the idea had taken root and lived on after her death. Ever since then, he had wished every day that he had children. He felt a surge of anger for the father that had walked out on his family; surely there was no greater crime.

He watched Lara, who looked angelic in sleep.

A short while after dawn, Cadvan saw Maerad stirring out of the corner of his eye. He kept his eyes on Lara, as Maerad stood up, rounded the bed and stood at the foot of it, arms folded, with a small smile on her face. Cadvan looked up as he noticed her expression.

"I appreciate your happiness, Maerad, but you're making me nervous! What are you smiling about?"

Maerad shook her head, her smile widening. "You just look…I don't know. The two of you, you look…right."

Cadvan smiled back at her, and held out an arm as an invitation to sit with them. Maerad did so, leaning up against the pillow with Cadvan's arm around her. It had been too warm for a duvet, so they sat on top of it, watching Lara sleeping. Maerad felt incredibly awkward and a little afraid, but at the same time she was comfortable.

They stayed there, silent and unmoving, until Lara awoke.

"'M hungry," she said, straight after her blonde lashes had fluttered open.

Maerad immediately shot out of bed, feeling relieved for the excuse to get up. Halfway to the door, she paused and asked: "What do children her age eat anyway?"

"They drink only the blood of porcupines," Cadvan replied.

"The blood of porcupines? I've never heard that. And I thought the innkeeper was feeding her scraps? How…" It was at this point Cadvan's straight face slipped and he began to laugh in the face of her confusion, which caused her to blush. "Well I don't know!" she cried, her embarrassment turning to anger that he had humiliated her. She turned away with a scowl, about to go downstairs and ask the innkeeper, but as she reached the door she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I am sorry, Maerad," Cadvan said with a twinkle in his eye. "I was only teasing. She eats most things at her age, though I think that she will soon hit the age where she is a fussy eater." Cadvan's heart unexpectedly became heavy as he explained this, but he covered it with a smile and continued; "Then we will find it hard to make her eat anything!" The smile slipped as he realised that they may not have Lara for that long. "When you get back, we will have to talk about what we are going to do with her," he said. "We need a plan."

Maerad nodded, and left the room; and Cadvan settled himself slowly into the chair next to the bed. His whole body ached to hold on to this child, his soul cried out for it, but his brain would not allow him to put her in danger. He leaned forwards and rested his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees.

"Why are you sad?" asked a small voice. He looked over at the bed to see Lara completely hidden beneath the duvet, all but her eyes, which peered out at him piercingly. His heart nearly broke, but he managed to smile.

"I'm not sad, little Lara. I'm all happy, because you're here!"

Lara giggled, and her head appeared from the duvet. Her hair was ruffled and Cadvan thought she looked cuter than ever. He couldn't help but smile back. "Come here, little Lara," he said, reaching out his arms.

Lara abandoned the duvet completely as she crawled across the bed towards him and into his arms. She stood on his legs and her head was barely above his own. She was so small…so precious…He held her close and breathed in the baby-smell that clung to her even now. After a few moments, Lara began to bounce impatiently on his thighs, and he was forced to let her go and place her back on the bed to avoid bruises. She lay on her back and giggled, giggling more as he tickled her and waving all four of her limbs around like an octopus…an octopus that had had four arms cut off, anyway.

As Maerad climbed the stairs, her arms laden with bread and meat and some mild cheese, she wished that they did not have to give Lara up. But it was only right; they could hardly take the girl with them to fight Sharma! _Even if we could, she deserves a normal life,_ Maerad thought as she somehow managed to open the door.

She stopped short in the doorway. Cadvan was leaning over Lara on the bed, tickling her, and Lara was giggling delightedly. Maerad's heart was lightened, and she began to hum as she closed the door with her foot and laid the food down on the table.

Neither Lara nor Cadvan noted her presence, and she began to feel very alone, so said; "Is this the right sort of food?"

Cadvan looked up and surveyed the table, then smiled warmly at her. "Perfect," he told her, his obvious pleasure making up for his brief ignorance of her.

"Come on," Maerad said to Lara, approaching the bed and picking her up. "Come and have some breakfast." Maerad sat Lara down on the chair to eat, and she and Cadvan took some food to sit on the end of the bed.

"We should take her to Innail," Cadvan said after a few minutes. "Silvia can find her a home, and then we will have to continue on."

Maerad sighed. "I agree. Silvia would look after her best, I think. Perhaps she would even adopt her herself."

_To be continued..._

Review and get a cookie in the shape of Dernhil and a Sharma voodoo doll you can torture. Don't review and the real Sharma will come round to your house and torture YOU.


	3. Chapter 3

A few hours after dawn found Maerad and Cadvan riding on towards Innail, and Lara sitting giggling in one of Maerad's saddlebags. Lara seemed to approve of the arrangement, as she hadn't stopped grinning the whole she had sat there. Every time one of the horses snorted, Lara would laugh, and her laugh caused Maerad and Cadvan to smile.

Around noon, they stopped for lunch, and Maerad lifted Lara down onto the ground. Darsor fell to grazing straight away, but Imi stayed for a few moments, curiously snuffling Lara's hair. Lara waved her small hands around above her head, and Imi backed off, mildly spooked. Pausing to nudge Darsor, Imi walked away and began to graze also.

Lara was beginning to make Maerad feel nervous. She was sat a few feet away from her, staring at her, seemingly unblinking. She avoided the girl's eyes, but couldn't help noticing her unwavering gaze. After a few minutes, she tried to stare right back at her, to make her look away, but found herself unable to.

"Lara, stop staring at me," she said at last. Suitably reassured, Maerad focused on her lunch again, but as she looked up again Lara was still staring at her. She ignored her.

A little later, they set off again. It had rained the night before, so everything looked fresh and clean, and the trees lining the side of the road stood out starkly against the blue sky. The fields became more lush as they approached Innail and the road widened. Lara had stopped smiling and laughing, and now sat in the saddlebag scowling.

As they went over the crest of a hill and Innail came into sight, Maerad decided that she needed earplugs to keep out the noise of Lara's crying.""Lara, shush!" she said for the hundredth time.

Lara let out a stream of whining which might have been; "I wanna go sleepy!"

Cadvan halted Darsor and Imi stopped automatically as well. Cadvan dismounted and walked back towards her. Before she could ask him what he was doing, he stopped in front of Lara and fixed her with his piercing gaze. "Lara," he said calmly, and she stopped crying in curiosity. "I understand that you are tired," he began in the same calm, stern voice, "but crying and whining won't get us there any faster. Now if you are a good girl and sit there quiet all the way I'll ask Silvia to find you some chocolate tomorrow."

Lara pressed her lips together and nodded seriously.

She didn't make a sound for the rest of the journey.

Silvia sat in the music room, eyes closed, listening to Malgorn playing his flute. It was a slow, swooping melody, instilling her with a feeling of peaceful contentment. The piece ended, and Silvia kept her eyes closed. Seconds later, she felt Malgorn's lips on hers. She kissed him back, her lips curling into a smile. They both looked up as they heard a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Silvia offered. She paused on her way to the door to kiss her husband's forehead. "Thank you. That music was beautiful."

Silvia's pale blue dress swished around her ankles as she walked across the room to get the door. She opened it to see Maerad, Cadvan stood behind her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, my friends!" she cried, reaching forwards to embrace them both. It was only as she did so that she realised Maerad was holding a small, sleeping child in her arms. She stared from Maerad to Cadvan to the child and back again for a few seconds, then Maerad said; "Oh, sorry! This is Lara." She seemed to realise what Silvia was thinking about the parentage of the child, as her eyes widened and her cheeks coloured. "We found her," she clarified quickly. "Her mum died and her dad disappeared before she was born. We said we'd take care of her and thought you could look after her."

"Of course!" Silvia suddenly realised they were still stood on the doorstep. "Oh, come in out of the cold! We'll find you all a room. How long are you staying for?"

"Perhaps a week," said Cadvan, following Maerad into the music room.

Silvia watched Maerad sit down carefully in one of the big armchairs, holding Lara closely, and had to hide a smile.

"Wine, anybody?" she asked.

"Thank you," Maerad and Cadvan both said gratefully, and Silvia handed them both a cup.

"Could Lara sleep in my room?" Maerad asked. "I don't want her to wake up on her own."

"Of course she can," Silvia said with a smile. "We should put her to bed now. Or we may wake her."

Maerad nodded, and Silvia led her out of the room and up to the same room that Maerad had stayed in last time. As they left, they heard Malgorn begin to tell Cadvan all that had happened since the last time they had been in Innail.

Maerad gazed down at Lara, whose face was peaceful.

"Come on," Silvia said softly. "Let's go and join the others."

Maerad trailed her fingers along the wall as she walked through the corridors. Being back here was like being wrapped up in a warm blanket. It was wonderful.

She sat next to Cadvan, regardless of the fact that the armchair forced them to squash together so much they had to put one arm around each other. Maerad noticed Silvia hiding another smile and said quickly, "So what will happen to Lara? Will you look after her, or will you ask somebody else?"

Silvia looked to Malgorn. "I have no objections, though of course I will be very busy. I am First Bard now," he added for Maerad's benefit, who was now the only one of the four who did not know.

"I think we will manage," Silvia said, addressing Malgorn.

"We will have to talk about it, but Silvia and I will probably adopt her," Malgorn told them, turning to Maerad and Cadvan.

"Oh, thank you!" Maerad exclaimed. She felt she should hug Malgorn, since he had given the decision, but felt awkward; and it would seem rude to hug Silvia now, so she put her arms around Cadvan instead. He hugged her back, then suggested he sit on another chair, since they were so squashed. "No, I will move," Maerad said, and sat on the sofa.

The four of them talked into the night, until midnight approached. Maerad had yawned several times, causing Silvia to suggest she go to bed, but when Cadvan also yawned - to Maerad intense surprise - at around a quarter to midnight, Silvia insisted that they went to bed.

"Cadvan _never_ yawns," she explained as she bustled the two of them upstairs. Cadvan's room was next to Maerad's, and they went into respective chambers with a murmur of, "Goodnight."

_To be continued..._

_Review and get a cookie in the shape of Lara. Don't review and my hyper friend Char will FIND YOU..._


	4. Chapter 4

_Short chapter, I'm afraid._

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Maerad quickly changed into some nightclothes, then stood watching Lara for a few minutes. Were they really doing the right thing? Maybe she and Cadvan could adopt Lara when they came back. _If we do both come back… _But that would be a lot of disruption for her, wouldn't it?

_What if Cadvan doesn't want to stay with me?_

Maerad tried to push the voice away, but now she had thought it she couldn't get away from it. The notion scared her more than she liked to admit. Without conscious thought, she found herself padding silently out of her room and opening Cadvan's door slowly. She entered the room, and her distraction was such that she didn't realise he was asleep until she was very close to his bed. The light had been on, so she hadn't realised. As her eyes started working again, she saw that Cadvan lay with his shirt in one hand, and slept shirtless on top of the covers. As her eyes informed her brain of this fact, Maerad blushed deeply, but couldn't seem to stop looking at him. Her hand rose of its own accord to touch his face, but she snapped it down again and left the room. Entering her own, she leant against the closed door and closed her eyes.

_What was that about?_

Just before dawn the next morning, Maerad was awoken to the sound of Lara crying. She sat up, bleary-eyed, and realised that the girl was hungry. It was a few hours until breakfast, so Maerad lay back down. As Lara's cries increased in volume, Maerad heard her door open slightly.

"Maerad?" came Cadvan's voice. She sat up again.

"Yes?"

"Is Lara alright?" he asked, entering the room properly. Maerad saw that, in his haste, he had not put on a shirt, and swallowed. She noticed he was shivering a little.

"Yes, I think she's just hungry."

"Well, are you going to get her something to eat?"

"Oh…Should I?" This had not really occurred to Maerad. She had thought that Lara would just have to wait.

"Yes. Come along, I will come with you."

" 'Come along'," Maerad muttered. "I sound like a six-year-old."

Cadvan just raised one eyebrow and waited as she picked up Lara, who quieted down when she did so. She followed Cadvan downstairs, watching him yawn again. Silvia was right, Cadvan never yawned. She didn't recall ever seeing him do so.

"Cadvan, are you alright?" she asked, concerned.

Cadvan turned to her with a small, reassuring smile. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

Maerad felt foolish now and just said, "Just…asking."

He smiled again, but this one was happier. "Well, thank you for your concern. Are you alright?"

Maerad nodded as they entered the kitchen, wishing she had questioned him further, but the moment had passed and now Cadvan was rummaging through some cupboards. He surfaced a few minutes later with a slice of soft bread and a small bowl of yogurt, which he placed on the small kitchen table.

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Cadvan wanted to yawn again as he went up the stairs ahead of Maerad, but managed to stifle it. He hadn't yawned since he was a child. And last night he had fallen asleep halfway through changing! How had he done that? He held the door for Maerad then went back into his own room.

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Cadvan awoke slowly to see Maerad staring down at him, her eyes wide and filled with worry. He realised she had been shaking him and sat up.

"Maerad?" he said, rubbing his eyes. "What's the matter?"

He just had time to register Maerad's relieved sigh before he felt her arms encircle his shoulders. His put his own arms around her then asked again, "What's the matter?"

"I couldn't get you to wake up," Maerad replied, obviously trying to sound calm - but she didn't fool him: he heard the shake in her voice. "I've been trying for nearly five minutes."

Cadvan yawned again before replying. "I'm just tired," he explained, smiling more to reassure himself than Maerad. "What did you want, anyway?"

"Silvia told me to wake you up for lunch."

"Lunch?"

"Yes, it's after midday."

Cadvan stood up and discovered that he was fully clothed. He didn't remember getting dressed. He didn't remember much about last night, actually. Wait, hadn't he got up already? He had a vague notion of going into Maerad's room. He bit his lip as the two of them approached the dining room, where Silvia and Malgorn were sat waiting. The child he and Maerad had found…Lara, she was there too.

Now he remembered; he and Maerad had gone downstairs earlier that morning to get Lara something to eat! Lara was sat scowling as they entered, but as soon as she caught sight of them her expression brightened.

"Cad-a!" she cried. Cadvan felt flattered - but then Lara turned quickly to Silvia and asked; "Me eat!" and he realised Silvia had told her to wait until he arrived before she ate. This made him feel slightly less smug. He sighed deeply, his heart sinking.

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_Heehee what do you think? Please review! Tell me what you think I could improve and what you like!_

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	5. Chapter 5

_Another quite short one, sorry! It's about 200 words short of the usual length of these chapters. It's just where they fall, I'm afraid._

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That night, Cadvan kept noticing that Maerad was watching him closely. _She probably thinks I'm going to do something stupid, _he thought. _She doesn't trust me. She probably never has._ He had put down his glass of wine long ago, and now could not summon the energy or will to pick it up. He breathed only shallowly, saying incredibly little, and sat back in the armchair with his eyes half-closed. His heart was heavy and all he wished to do was go to bed.

--

Maerad kept an eye on Cadvan for the rest of the day, after he had scared her at lunch. She was worried about him. But, aside from being unusually tired, there didn't seem to be anything wrong with him, and she soon forgot he was there, he was so quiet. She, Silvia and Malgorn spoke instead to each other, and to Lara, who was sitting with them. Silvia and Malgorn had agreed to adopt Lara, and even though Maerad was pleased about this, she was still sorry that she and Cadvan couldn't adopt her themselves.

An image of Cadvan lying on his bed the night before flashed unbidden into Maerad's mind, and her stomach did a backflip. She wrenched her thoughts away from it quickly, and looked back at Silvia, who was playing with Lara. Lara seemed very happy with the arrangement of Silvia looking after her, as she had given her chocolate and played with her almost all day.

Maerad removed her fleece-y jacket as Silvia took Lara to bed, around sundown. Noticing that Cadvan was shivering, she walked over and covered him with it. He looked up at her, his eyes surprised and yet vulnerable - he looked like a scared puppy.

"Thank you," he murmured, and huddled under it. Maerad bit her lip as anxiety gripped her stomach, so she squeezed his shoulder gently before returning to her seat.

_She only gave it to me because she didn't want it, _Cadvan thought. He felt like he had a big lump in his throat. It was painful, so he swallowed to try to get rid of it, but this hurt even more and it made his eyes water. He blinked it away before anybody could see. _Nobody would care anyway._

He was so _cold._ So cold and tired.

"Can Cadvan and I cook tomorrow?" Maerad asked Silvia. "I feel we should repay you for all you have done for us."

"My dear Maerad, you should not feel as though you owe me anything!" Silvia exclaimed. "You are our friends, and both Malgorn and I will do anything you wish us to do to help. However, it would be lovely if you would cook. Thank you."

Maerad smiled. "We would be happy to. And now, I think, we should go to bed. I think we are both a little tired." Maerad wasn't really tired, but she felt Cadvan should go to sleep and didn't want to embarrass him. She glanced over at Cadvan, watching, for a second, the fire reflected in his blank eyes. He had her fleece wrapped tight around him, pulled right up to his nose. He made no motion to stand up, so she took the fleece from him and held out a hand. He looked up at her slowly, blinked in slow-motion, then took her hand and relied on her heavily to get up.

She kept a hold of his hand as she led him out of the room and up the stairs. Halfway up, he stumbled, banging his knee hard into the stair. Maerad put his arm around her shoulders and helped him up the rest of the way. It was not until she helped him into bed that Maerad saw his expression. He looked dull, sad, heartbroken. She knelt at his bedside and took his hand again. "Oh, Cadvan, what's wrong?" she asked sadly.

It took him a moment to reply. "I'm so cold. I'm so tired. I keep hurting myself, and I want a child. I feel like I'm growing old. No woman will fall for me now. I miss my family, my mother and my father. It's so long since I have seen them."

Maerad sat next to him in his bed and put her arms around him, holding him tightly. She had no idea how to comfort him, so she just sat and held him.

"I think my heart's going to break when we have to leave Lara," he admitted quietly.

"Mine too," Maerad confessed. "But you're going to break my heart if you keep on like this. Please cheer up."

"I'm sorry, I must sound so pathetic. You can go now, if you want."

Maerad looked at his face, and his eyes were dark with pain. "No, I'll stay for a little while," she said. She felt awful that she could do nothing to ease his suffering.

"No, go now. You need to sleep. Just leave me alone." _Like I have always been. _Cadvan lay down properly and turned his back to Maerad. She didn't care about him anyway. She was only with him because he would help her. As soon as this was over, she would leave him, he knew she would. He heard her footsteps leave his room and closed his eyes.

He was asleep in seconds.

--

Maerad closed Cadvan's door slowly, careful not to let it slam closed. _Well,_ she thought. _That explains a lot of his recent behaviour. He has probably been lying awake thinking about it. And I couldn't wake him the other day simply because he was so tired from lying awake that his body would not let him._

That night, Maerad slept much more easily, safe in the knowledge that Cadvan was alright - though upset.

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Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

Cadvan opened his eyes to see the white ceiling, and, though he wanted to sit up, he just couldn't summon the will to do so. He could feel his heart beating, far too slow and much too strong. He took deep breaths and it faded back to how it should be.

Eventually, he did manage to stand up, and went to see Maerad. He would have to get dressed first, he thought, so he turned back from his door and went to his wardrobe.

When there, he stared at it for a few seconds. What was he doing again?

Oh, he was going to see Maerad. He approached the door - wait, he had to get dressed first. He walked over to his wardrobe to get some clothes, and picked out a shirt and a pair of trousers. After dressing quickly, he left his bedroom and knocked on Maerad's door.

"Hello, Cadvan," she said with a smile as she opened the door. She glanced down and giggled. Cadvan followed her gaze and saw that he had two shirts on; the one underneath had been the one that he'd been wearing in bed. Embarrassed, he laughed and undid the first shirt, then the second one, before removing them both and replacing the one he was supposed to be wearing. A faint pink blush filled Maerad's cheeks as she watched him, and she turned to approach Lara to hide it from Cadvan. She looked around as she heard something heavy hit the floor.

Cadvan had collapsed.

Maerad rushed to his side and knelt down next to him. What had happened?

"Cadvan!" she called, shaking his shoulders. His face was white and his eyes were closed. "Cadvan!" she called again, fearfully. His eyes remained closed for a few more seconds, and then he jerked into consciousness. His arms smashed into the floor as though he was trying to grip hold of the carpet to steady himself, and his eyes were wide with shock. Maerad took a shaky, relieved breath.

"Don't move," She told Cadvan, a catch in her voice. "I'm getting Silvia." Cadvan nodded, and Maerad raced downstairs to find Silvia. Luckily, she found her quickly, because Silvia was in the kitchen baking some bread.

"Silvia," she gasped. "Please come quickly, it's Cadvan." Silvia seemed to hear the urgency in Maerad's voice, and immediately followed her, grabbing a towel on her way so she could wipe the flour off of her hands.

"What happened?" Silvia asked as they raced up the stairs.

"He came in my room and collapsed!" Maerad led Silvia into her room, and Silvia knelt next to Cadvan, who looked up at her.

"Cadvan, did you hurt anything when you fell?" Silvia asked calmly.

"I fell onto my shoulder. My neck hurts a little; I think I pulled it. But nothing serious."

"Do you feel dizzy?"

"I did just before I fell, but not now. Can I get up now? I'm fine."

Silvia helped Cadvan to stand. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes. You can leave me now, if you want. I can see you are baking. Maerad will look after me," he added, smiling at her.

Squeezing his shoulder gently, Silvia turned to leave. She paused at the door. "I will cook tonight," she said.

Cadvan turned to see Maerad staring at him. "What?" he asked.

"Cadvan…I think you should see a Healer. I don't think you're very well."

"There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just a little tired, that is all."

"No, Cadvan, you're not. You need to see a Healer." As Cadvan opened his mouth to protest, Maerad placed a finger on his lips to silence him. "You are going if I have to drag you there by your hair." Her voice was so steely that Cadvan didn't bother to argue. They stood staring at each other for a few minutes, until Maerad noticed that she still had one finger on his lips, and removed it hastily.

"I-I'd better go," Cadvan stuttered. "I'll make…make an appointment for after lunch." He turned and exited her room, leaving Maerad breathing deeply in the middle of the room.

"Come on Lara," Maerad said, picking her up. "Let's go for a walk."

--

Cadvan started getting frustrated at lunch, because Maerad, Silvia and Malgorn kept watching him. He was having trouble swallowing his food, which he told himself was because their stares were distracting him. He stood up when he was halfway through and took his plate out, then sat at the table waiting for Maerad to finish, as she had insisted on coming with him. When she had taken her plate out, she stood at the door as he slowly stood and joined her. As he drew level with her and they started walking, he felt her slip her hand into his. He knew she was giving him support, and smiled at her.

Despite his assurances to Silvia that he was fine, Cadvan was actually quite worried. He let Maerad lead him into the Healing House and approached the front desk.

"Good afternoon," he said to the receptionist with a nod. "I'm here for my appointment."

"What is your name, please?" the receptionist asked.

"Cadvan of Lirigon," Cadvan replied.

The grey-haired woman looked down at her records. She scribbled something next to his name and smiled up at them. "If you could just wait over there, please," she said, gesturing to the seats arranged around the walls. Maerad nodded and followed Cadvan as he turned his back on the woman and walked over to one of the seats. She noticed that Cadvan looked annoyed at being here - against his will - but also she could see a streak of worry in his eyes. She edged closer to Cadvan to reassure him, and he put one arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder, he rested his head on hers, and together they waited.

For ten minutes, they waited, silent and unmoving, until a tall man who looked to be in his mid-thirties - so was probably about seventy - came into the room and said; "Cadvan of Lirigon?"

Cadvan and Maerad followed him into the next room.


	7. Chapter 7

_Haha this chapter is a little longer, to make up for the slightly short ones :P Well, it's just because it ended in that place, but it should make up for the shorter ones :D_

"Take a seat," the Healer said, gesturing to some seats in front of his desk and settling into his own chair opposite them. "My name is Taedhlin. So, what are you here for?" he asked, looking expectantly at them.

"I…fainted, this morning," Cadvan said. "And _somebody_ -" he glared at Maerad - "made me come here."

Maerad glared right back at him. "Well pardon me for being worried about you," she muttered.

"Hey, no arguments here!" Taedhlin joked. "You did the right thing," he added, looking at Maerad. "Often, fainting can be a sign of other illnesses. Have you felt different lately?"

"Well, I have been feeling tired. And a few days ago I fell asleep halfway through changing."

"Okay, well, I'm just going to listen to your heart," Taedhlin said, getting a stethoscope out of his drawer. He stood up, putting the listening ends into his ears, and placed the other end over Cadvan's heart. "Hmm…It's a little slow. Have you had any palpitations?"

"Erm…Well…I had a few this morning."

"Was it this morning you fainted?"

"Yes, a few minutes after."

"Could you put your head back for me a moment?"

Cadvan did so. Maerad noticed that he had a lump in his throat, just below his Adam's Apple.

"It looks like you have Nishometa's Disease," Taedhlin told him gravely.

"But there's…There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just tired."

"You had palpitations?"

"Yes."

"Intolerance to cold?"

He had been shivering a lot lately… "Yes."

"Depression?"

"Erm…yes."

"Forgetfullness?"

Cadvan thought of his two shirts that morning. "Yes."

"Dizziness?"

"Yes."

"Difficulty swallowing?"

"Yes."

"You've got Nishometa's Disease."

"What _is_ Nisho…meta's Disease?" Maerad asked before Cadvan could protest again. Anxiety was clawing at her belly. A disease sounded serious.

"Nishometa's Disease is a condition carried by certain flies. Usually it doesn't come to much, but in some cases, such as a weakened immune system or stress, it can be very serious. It causes, well, all of the symptoms you have. If left untreated, it can cause a heart attack."

Maerad looked quickly at Cadvan and gripped his hand. Cadvan squeezed back appreciatively.

"Fortunately, we have caught it early, and a week or two of medicine should sort you out," Taedhlin explained with a reassuring smile. He started writing on a piece of paper. "Take this out…" he started, still writing, "to the receptionist…and she will…" He tore the paper off of the pad and smiled up at them, holding it out, "find the medicine for you."

Cadvan took the paper from him. "Thank you," he said with a smile. "Goodbye, then." As they left the room, Cadvan muttered; "Don't even say anything, Maerad."

Maerad laughed; "I won't. Though it is down to me that you won't have a heart attack," she added cheekily.

Cadvan flicked her nose gently. "True."

They had reached the desk. "Hello," Cadvan said to the receptionist, before handing her the paper from the Healer.

The receptionist nodded. "I'll be back in just a moment," she promised, and disappeared through a door next to her desk.

Cadvan turned to Maerad. "Seriously, my friend," he began sincerely. "Thank you. I didn't want to come, but it's good that I did." He kissed her on the cheek.

Maerad smiled up at him. "Well, there's nothing wrong with being careful," she replied.

"There's no need to sound quite so smug," he said, and kissed her other cheek. "Sorry, I…didn't mean to kiss you twice there."

Maerad laughed softly. "That's alright."

The receptionist came back at that moment and handed Cadvan a small bottle of pills. "Take two a day for a week, at least four hours apart."

"Thank you," Cadvan said, taking the pills.

"I'm sure your wife will remind you if you forget," the receptionist said with a smile.

"Oh, I'm not -"

"She's not -"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Well, anyway, goodbye."

"Goodbye," Maerad and Cadvan said, and together they left the Healing House.

"Guess what Lara did this morning," Maerad said with a smile as they walked along the street towards Silvia's house. Cadvan was shivering a little.

"What?" he asked, smiling back.

"We went out for a walk and we saw a man kicking his dog because it tried to eat his sandwich. I was just about to go over to him myself when Lara marched over and started yelling at him! When I came up behind her the man tried to get me to tell her off, but I said that I totally agreed with everything she said and if a one-year-old child knew what he was doing was wrong then how stupid must he be?"

Cadvan gave a deep laugh, which lifted Maerad's spirits. A smile took over her face and she surrendered to it willingly, as Cadvan took her hand.

"You should have one of those tablets now," Maerad suggested.

Showing uncharacteristic obedience, Cadvan took one of the tablets and swallowed it down, tipping his head back to help it on its way down his throat. He grimaced. "Next time, I'm using water," he told her, replacing the tablets into his pocket. "Those taste awful."

The two of them continued down the street, sometimes talking but mostly in silence. Maerad felt a little guilty for not realising that there was something wrong with Cadvan earlier, but at least now he was getting some help. Cadvan still felt depressed because of the effects of his illness, but was a little more optimistic.

When they arrived back, they went to find Lara, discovering that she was with Silvia, out in the garden. Maerad ran over to Lara, delighted to see that Lara ran to her. "Hello my little darling!" Maerad cried, picking her up. "Have you been having fun with Silvia?"

"Sili!" Lara yelled, clapping her hands. She had a gigantic grin on her face. Looking over at Silvia, Maerad saw that Cadvan was telling her, in a low voice, what had occurred at the Healing House. Perhaps she and Cadvan could still cook tonight. It was only early, and Cadvan already looked more cheerful. Perhaps she could cook and he could guide her?

Lara interrupted her musings by insisting; "Down!" Maerad placed the girl on the ground, and she gripped Maerad's hand. "Show Mae-a," Lara said in a hushed, confidential tone. Maerad allowed Lara to drag her across the grass towards a large pond. She halted a step or two away from the edge - Maerad got the feeling that Silvia had banned her from coming any closer for her own safety - and pointed with one short finger. "Fishies," Lara whispered.

Now she had said it, Maerad could make out the telltale silvery flashes of fishes swimming in the pond.

"There are!" she replied, with fake wonderment, sitting on the bench next to the pond and pulling Lara onto her lap. She ooh-ed and ahh-ed along with Lara, and after a moment she felt a hand on her shoulder. As Maerad looked up, she saw Cadvan looking down at her, and smiled.

"I told Silvia we would cook tonight after all," he said, as they both looked back at the pond. "Is that alright?"

"I was just going to suggest that we did," Maerad replied.

* * *

_Please R+R!_

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

That evening found Maerad preparing to cook chicken and vegetables, and Cadvan sitting a little moodily at the side of the room. Silvia had told him that if he tried to cook he would be sleeping outside, so he had decided just to watch. It irritated him that everyone was treating him like he would break, but he knew that they were only doing it because they cared about him.

Maerad washed her hands and was about to start preparing the chicken when she felt a hand on her wrist. She turned to face Cadvan and he hung a cloth apron about her neck.

"Turn around," he told her softly. Maerad did so, and he took the cords and tied them around her. Maerad tried not to be embarrassed as he did so. Cadvan then returned to his chair and talked her through preparing the chicken. Just as she was putting it over the fire to simmer, Lara came into the kitchen.

"I help, pease?" she asked, gazing up at Maerad through her long eyelashes.

Maerad glanced at Cadvan a little uncertainly - surely it was unsafe? "You can help me with dessert," she promised after a moment.

"You come and sit with me, little Lara," Cadvan told her, holding out his arms. Lara ran into them happily and Cadvan pulled her onto his lap, putting his arms securely around her middle to hold her safe.

Maerad hid a smile at this by turning to put the kettle onto the fire for the vegetables. "How long does the chicken take?" she asked, turning back to Cadvan.

"When the kettle starts to whistle, put the vegetables into it, and when the vegetables are nearly cooked, you put them in with the chicken for about five more minutes."

"I can whistle!" Lara announced cheerfully.

_I seriously doubt that,_ Maerad thought, but aloud she said; "Can you really? Can you show us how well you can whistle?"

Lara's brow furrowed in concentration as she pursed her lips together and blew hard. The sound which resulted sounded more like a raspberry than a whistle, but Maerad and Cadvan clapped anyway.

"Well done, little Lara," Cadvan told her, kissing her cheek.

"Kiss Mae-a too!" Lara ordered happily. Maerad's stomach constricted. Cadvan's eyes flickered immediately to her.

"Maerad doesn't want me to kiss her," Cadvan replied, tickling Lara's belly to try and distract her.

Lara would not be distracted. "Kiss Mae-a too," she repeated more insistently. Both Maerad and Cadvan realised that she was not going to give in, and Maerad gave an almost imperceptible nod. Cadvan stood up, still holding Lara close against his body, and gently kissed Maerad on the lips. Maerad had never been kissed in such a considerate way, and tears prickled at the corners of her eyes as she gazed at Cadvan. He was so kind; always thinking of her.

Lara started to slip to the floor and giggled, making Cadvan break his eye contact with Maerad in order to lower Lara slowly to the floor. A choking sound escaped Maerad, and she ran from the room and up the stairs to her own. The three of them felt so much like a family, and she wished so much that they could be, but no amount of wishing could ever make it true.

Maerad threw herself onto her bed.

She was the Fated One, and her destiny was already written, forcing her to leave this beautiful child here in Innail, whilst she journeyed across wild and dangerous lands, uncertain whether she would live to see this city again.

Oh, how she wished she could stay here, with Lara and with Cadvan, forever, and they could pretend, even though it was not true, that they were a normal family.

Maerad wiped the tears away from her face, though more continued to fall weakly from her eyes. There was no sense in wishing for these things, no sense in mourning what she could never have. Maerad sat up. She gave a big sniff and wiped her eyes again. She had to be strong.

A knock came upon her door.

"Maerad?" Cadvan asked. "May I come in?"

"Yes," Maerad replied, and Cadvan entered. He sat next to her on her bed in silence. There were a few minutes of silence, and then Cadvan looked up at Maerad.

"Are you ready to go back down now?"

"Yes," Maerad replied. They left the room together. "Thank you," she added, catching his hand.

As they entered the kitchen, Cadvan returned to his previous position, and Maerad dropped the vegetables into a pan with the hot water.

"Maerad, why were you crying?" Cadvan asked, softly enough so that she could pretend not to hear him if she wished.

Maerad decided not to. "I just…I want to stay here. I want to have a family, live a normal life. That just…reminded me of what I was missing." She kept her back to him, and so did not know he was behind her until he put one hand on her shoulder to turn her around and pulled her into a hug.

"Maerad…Just know…whatever happens, I'll always stand by you. If ever you need me, I'll be there."

Maerad drew back to smile up at him. "Thank you. And I will always be there for you."

"Just so long as you don't let the dinner burn; put those vegetables in with the chicken," Cadvan replied cheerfully, turning her head back around towards the fire, staying so close that Maerad could feel his breath on her neck. Feeling the hair on the back of her neck stand up, Maerad did as Cadvan had said, after first draining the vegetables.

"We might as well come back in five minutes," Maerad said, putting the lid on the chicken. As she turned to leave the kitchen, Cadvan put an arm around her waist and she turned around back to him. Maerad looked up at him quizzically.

"I wish we could be a family too," he said. The smile had hardly formed upon Maerad's face when Cadvan wavered, swaying slightly. She put out an arm to steady him and he held one hand to his head. "Ohh, I feel so dizzy," he muttered.

"Come on, sit down," Maerad told him, helping him into his chair.

"Thank you," Cadvan said with a tight smile.

* * *

Please please please review! If you don't,

...

...

I've run out of ideas.

Just please review, you will make me very happy! :)


	9. Chapter 9

I've been reading a lot of Doctor Who fanfics in the last few days, so if these two start to sound like the Doctor and Rose then I'm sorry .

_Thanks to fallen-petals for betaing._

* * *

Cadvan began to shiver again as he sat, slightly dazed, on the chair. Maerad wrapped her arms close around him and held him tight. If she ever lost him she didn't know what she'd do. He was her lifeline.

She closed her eyes contentedly as she felt Cadvan's arms surround her.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"What for?" Cadvan asked, a tremour in his voice.

"Everything you've done for me and everything you are to me."

Cadvan wanted to stand up, but he liked where he was too much. Eventually, he realised that the dinner would burn soon, and let go reluctantly. His illness left him vulnerable, and he felt as though Maerad would never come back if he let her go.

"You should check the dinner," he said. It took him a moment, as she turned to do as he had said, for him to let go of her hand. He watched her lift the lid of the pan and lifted his feet up onto the chair, hugging his knees. He was shaking as he leant back against the wall and his eyes fell closed. After a few minutes, he felt a hand stroke back the hair from his forehead.

"You're going to bed," said a voice. He couldn't remember who the voice belonged to, so he opened his eyes to see Silvia in front of him with her hands on her hips. She pulled him upright and Cadvan was grateful for her help as she dragged him upstairs. Feeling like a baby who had only just learned to walk, he staggered into his own room. He was cold and exhausted and his heart was heavy. He curled up in his bed.

Maerad came into his room a few minutes later to take him a warm drink and to give him his tablets. He took her hand and she knelt next to his bed, her chin on the mattress. Their faces were only inches apart, but Maerad felt no unease. His eyes closed slowly.

"Cadvan," she began after a while, uncertain if he was awake. "Did you love Ceredin?"

"I loved her with all my heart," he replied without opening his eyes.

"Do you still love her?" she asked. It was truly only curiosity which had caused her to ask the questions, and because of this, she didn't know how to deal with the relief at his answer.

"In a way. I remember loving her, and why. But I don't think I have truly loved her in a long time."

Just a few moments later, his hand became limp, and Maerad returned downstairs to make cookies with Lara.

"Come on then, Lara," she said cheerfully, swinging her up into her arms. "Let's make cookies!"

Lara laughed delightedly and clapped her hands together as Maerad sat her on the counter. As she was measuring out the butter, Maerad dunked Lara's fingers into it so she could lick it off, which kept her occupied for long enough for Maerad to measure out the other ingredients and chuck them into a bowl. She apprehensively gave Lara the spoon, and held the bowl tightly.

"Now be very careful," she told Lara. Lara held up the spoon and lowered it quickly into the bowl, then again and again, continuing to smack the bottom of the bowl. She was doing an awful job in terms of mixing, but at least she was having fun, laughing gleefully, and it all stayed in the bowl.

"Mu- Maerad finish it off?" she asked, and Lara nodded. When the dough was made, Maerad scooped it out and dropped the bowl in the sink. She rolled out the dough and cut them into shapes, before putting them in the oven. She was still acutely aware of how she had almost said "mummy".

"Come on, let's go outside and see your fish," Maerad said brightly. "Then when the cookies are done we can put chocolate on them. And you can lick the bowl!"

"Yay yay yay!" Lara cried as they left the kitchen together.

As Maerad exclaimed at the fish with Lara, she couldn't help but worry about Cadvan. He was obviously very ill - even if he had not collapsed, he was acting so differently. He was usually so strong, and unwitting to show his emotions and thoughts, but yesterday he had bared his soul so completely to her that she wanted to gather him in her arms and never let go.

Maerad thought that the cookies would be finished soon, so she took Lara back inside and melted some chocolate. It was ready just in time for her to spread it over the cookies, desperately trying to save some from Lara, who kept sticking her finger into it. As soon as the cookies all had a liberal coating of chocolate, Maerad gave the bowl to Lara and took her to Silvia whilst she washed up.

When she had, she took some cookies to Silvia, Malgorn and Lara, then climbed the stairs to see if Cadvan was awake, and, if he was, if he could eat anything. His door was open, so she entered quietly, seeing immediately that he was awake and shivering violently. Before Maerad could think, she found herself lying next to him, him underneath the thin blanket and her above. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling how cold he was. He really was freezing. He looked like a scared, sick rabbit, and Maerad felt sorry for him.

"I need…" he began through chattering teeth. "A fire. Help me…get downstairs."

Maerad obligingly pulled him into a sitting position, and he swung his legs off the side of the bed. Maerad struggled under his weight as she helped him to the stairs; it was obvious that he was very weak.

"Let me…do it on my own…" Cadvan insisted as they reached the stairs. Doubtfully, Maerad ducked out from under his arm and he grasped hold of the banister rail. On the second step down, his legs gave way and he fell forwards, but he twisted his fall so he was lying on his back with his head pointing down the stairs, still clinging like a monkey to the banister rail. However, before he had even come to a stop, he lost his grip and tumbled down the rest of the stairs.

* * *

-hides- please don't kill me


	10. Chapter 10

"CADVAN!" Maerad yelled, her eyes wide with fear as she raced down the stairs, taking them two at a time. She jumped the last three and knelt next to him. "Are you alright?" she asked quickly.

"Ow," he said simply, pushing himself into a sitting position with great difficulty. Silvia rushed in, having heard Maerad's exclamation. She saw he was okay and went up the stairs - Maerad guessed that she was going to get Cadvan some blankets. He was still shaking with cold, and now Maerad was shaking with relief. She practically dragged him into the kitchen and lay with him close to the fire. They lay silently in each other's arms, his cold cheek against her warm one.

Silvia came into the room and laid a blanket over the two of them. She bit her lip as she saw how cold Cadvan was - it was actually quite warm - but as she left the room, she paused in the doorway and smiled slightly at them.

It was almost an hour, and nearly dark outside, before Cadvan stopped shivering.

"Light, I'm useless," he said bitterly.

"Of course you're not," Maerad soothed, pulling back so she could look at him.

"I am. Freezing, depressed, weak. Can't even walk down the stairs without falling over. Light, my back hurts. I think I pulled it when I fell down the stairs." He scowled briefly. "I can't even stop complaining."

Maerad slipped a hand behind his back and began to rub it gently.

"What are you doing?" Cadvan asked.

"You said your back hurts. Sit up."

Cadvan did as he was bidden, and Maerad sat behind him and gently rubbed his back. When his shirt began to make her fingers tingle uncomfortably, she stopped and scooted around to sit next to him again. She was about to put her arms around him when he pulled her onto his lap, her legs stretching out at a right angle to his. She tried to remember to breathe as he held her close to him.

"I, uh…I should…I should get your tablets…" she stuttered, awkwardly shuffling out of his lap and getting up. She went into his room and paused an instant before her hand touched the tablets. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Why did she feel like this? Opening her eyes again, she picked up the tablets and returned to the kitchen. She got Cadvan a drink of water and handed it and the tablets to him. She did not sit back down.

Maerad and Cadvan stood and sat respectively, in total silence, for around ten minutes, neither acknowledging the other's presence. After this time, Cadvan sighed.

"These tablets are very good," he said, before glancing up at Maerad. "You can go to bed now, if you want. I shall be going myself, shortly."

Maerad nodded, and approached him for a hug, before heading to her room for some much-needed sleep.

There was a very large part of her that wished she had stayed downstairs.

--

Cadvan awoke feeling more cheerful than he had in many days. He was warm, fairly alert, and when he held up his hand, it didn't shake. He sat up without feeling dizzy, and looked out of his window to see that it was only just getting light. Obviously he was on the mend. He nearly bounced out of bed, dressed quickly, and immediately went to see Maerad.

"Good morning, Maerad," he said with a smile as she opened the door. "I trust you slept well?"

"Fine, but really I should be asking you that!" she replied with an answering grin.

"I think those tablets have done the trick," he told her cheerfully. "I feel much better." His voice became more serious. "I think we should leave very soon."

Maerad's heart sank, but she knew he was right, and nodded. She glanced behind her at Lara, still sound asleep, and her heart sank further.

Cadvan, guessing her feelings correctly as usual, held her cheek in his hand. "We'll come back," he told her seriously.

"I hope so," she replied. "But I'll miss her all the same."

"As will I," he agreed with a nod. "Though I think we should leave tomorrow."

"So soon? Do we not have a little time?"

"Alas, I wish we could tarry longer in this beautiful place, but we cannot. Such is our fate."

Both sobered by his words, they traipsed down for breakfast, finding Silvia already up and baking cakes in the kitchen.

"We are to leave tomorrow," Cadvan told her after they had greeted her.

Silvia nodded. "I feared you would say this. I wish you could stay longer, though I know you cannot. Go into the music room now, and we will eat in there. I shall take care of Lara today. You two should relax."

Cadvan and Maerad made their way into the beautiful room, and sat down next to each other on the sofa.

"Maerad," Cadvan said tentatively after just a second. "Would you mind…if I kissed you?"

Maerad looked at him quickly. The word "why?" was out of her mouth before she could think.

Cadvan considered the question for a moment, then replied, "Because I would like to," with characteristic frankness and honesty.

Maerad regarded him for a moment. She could trust him, that she was sure of. "No," she said. "That is; no, I don't mind."

"Thank you," Cadvan replied seriously, and Maerad knew he was thanking her for her trust. A moment later she knew nothing as Cadvan cupped her cheek, and gently brushed his lips against hers. He drew away and avoided her eyes, suddenly embarrassed. Maerad couldn't look away from him. A hundred emotions were racing through her head, and as many thoughts, but even though there was fear in her heart, it was nothing compared to the other emotions. Excitement wrestled with anxiety and happiness with apprehension.

"You can…If you want…you can kiss me again sometime." Cadvan's eyes flickered up to meet hers, and they smiled at one another.

"I would like that very much," he told her truthfully.

woo! I won't die anymore!

anyway, please review. Just one more chapter! :D


	11. Chapter 11

Cadvan and Maerad quickly looked away as Silvia entered the room carrying a tray of various different types of food. She placed it down in front of them and all three of them tucked in.

"Malgorn will be here in a moment," Silvia told them. "With Lara. And you two are going for a nice relaxing walk after breakfast," she added. "I will talk to Indik and ask him to have Imi and Darsor ready for early next morning. And there will be a breakfast and a fresh lunch waiting for you in the kitchen. I'm afraid I can't do the same to supper; you will have to have travelling food. I will find some of that for you also."

Maerad smiled widely at her, and Cadvan stood up to embrace her. "You, my friend, are kindness itself," he said. "Thank you."

As he sat down again, Malgorn came into the room with Lara in his arms. Lara immediately sought to be put down, and as Malgorn set her on the ground she ran to Maerad and Cadvan and embraced them both. "Mali say you are going," she said, her eyes wide as she stared from one to the other of them. "Are you going where my mumma went or are you coming back?"

Cadvan met Maerad's eyes over Lara's head. "Oh, we're coming back," he promised. He looked back at Lara. "And we'll have a present for you, little Lara. Would you like that?"

As Lara nodded and the two of them chattered on about what they might bring for Lara, Maerad watched them, feeling very far away, and wondered at the new complexity that had opened in her and Cadvan's relationship. She was still not sure why Cadvan had asked to kiss her; less sure of why she had agreed, and simply perplexed by her own permission she gave for him to kiss her again. What did it mean? That she simply trusted him more, and was showing him? Or something else?

She was torn from her musings as Silvia ordered them away to have a walk and relax together.

"_It may be your last chance,_" she had said.

And so, together, they left the Bardhouse and wandered through the streets of Innail, their steps bent in no particular direction. They made no conversation, and Maerad felt that the silence was both comfortable and awkward - neither felt the need to speak, but at the same time, both knew that they needed to talk. Maerad thoughts returned to the happy little girl she and Cadvan had picked up.

"I wish Lara were my child," she said absently, unaware that she had spoken aloud until Cadvan replied.

"I wish Lara were _our_ child." His words were so quiet that she almost missed them, but hidden deep inside them was everything they had been needing to say, and suddenly Maerad knew the depth of his love for her. She gazed at his face, turned away from her in embarrassment and anxiety, and she acted on instinct.

She reached out a hand to touch his face, and as he looked up and into her eyes, they both smiled. Cadvan gently tilted her chin and brought his lips to meet her own, in a kiss firm enough to reassure her and gentle enough not to frighten her. As Maerad felt his lips about to withdraw, she suddenly realised that she wasn't in the least bit afraid. She put a hand behind his neck to stop him from drawing away and parted her lips. Cadvan touched her lips with his tongue only briefly before breaking the contact, but he rested his forehead against hers and Maerad was glad of the touch.

"Maerad I confess that I have not been so happy in a very long time," he said quietly. "And I feel somehow I should not, as there is a great deal of suffering that we and others will go through before this is over, but I find it impossible to squash this contentment in my heart."

Maerad grinned, lips still no more than half an inch away from his. She pretended this fact did not scramble her thoughts as she replied simply; "I'm glad Silvia sent us on this walk."

Cadvan laughed heartily as they both stood straight again and continued on their way.

"As am I, Maerad. As am I."

--

Sorry it's so short, it just seemed like the right place to end it. I was going to end it when they actually left Innail, but here seems as good a place as any.

Look out for the epilogue, which may not be for a while as I will be working on my original story called _My Angel._


	12. Epilogue

Note: This is now after Sharma has been destroyed, but there are no Singing spoilers.

Enjoy the epilogue!

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Maerad's stomach was a nest of snakes, writhing and twisting as she and Cadvan approached Innail. The horses sensed their riders' excitement in the tensing of their bodies and the shortness of their instructions, and became skittish. Maerad nearly had a fall as Imi shied away from a rustling bush, but managed to keep her seat, thinking for the hundredth time how glad she was that Cadvan had agreed to come with her to collect Imi from the Pilanel. She had grown fat in her time there, through rich grass and plenty of treats and too little exercise, but apart from that she had changed little since Maerad had last seen her.

Her thoughts returned for the umpteenth time back to the little girl they had left in Innail a year before. Had it really been a year? She would be so much grown now, just over two years old. She was anxious to see Silvia and Malgorn as well, of course, and her brother and Saliman who had gone straight to Innail as she and Cadvan travelled to collect Imi, but she was secretly most looking forward to seeing Lara.

Maerad glanced across at Cadvan, whom she had loved since - and perhaps before - they had found Lara, and he, guessing her thoughts by the slight grin she failed to keep from her face, winked at her, allowing his own grin to take over his face. They laughed together for a minute, then laughed more as they realised that they had no idea what they were laughing at. Maerad steered Imi closer to Darsor in order to take Cadvan's hand. Cadvan turned his gaze from the road in front of them to Maerad, his eyes soft and his face gentle. Maerad glowed inside.

They kept riding for as long as possible, wanting to reach Innail as soon as they could, but eventually, almost an hour after noon, the hunger pangs became too much and they stopped for lunch. Cadvan planted a kiss on Maerad's cheek just before they remounted, and then they were off again, Maerad almost bursting with impatience at the thought of seeing all of her friends again.

Innail grew closer and closer, and about an hour after lunch, they finally reached the gates. They were opened immediately, as the gate keeper recognised them - a lot of people knew them now - and they hurried to Silvia's house, after a quick detour to leave their horses in the stables. Maerad knocked on the door, and after a few moments it was answered by Silvia, holding Lara's hand. She looked to be several inches taller, and she was beginning to get freckles - or that could have been the chocolate covering her face.

"Yay yay!" Lara cried, holding up an arm to each of them, seeming to be unable to decide who she wanted to be picked up by first. Cadvan glanced at Maerad, his eyes twinkling, and tilted his head slightly towards Lara. Maerad swept Lara up into her arms and held her close to her body, as Cadvan embraced Silvia. "Maerad," Lara whispered, causing Maerad to grin.

"You can say my name," she said.

"Maerad Maerad Maerad!" Lara cried. "Cadvan Cadvan Cadvan!" she added, giggling, and Cadvan took Lara from Maerad to hold her up high and spin her around.

"Hello, little Lara," he said happily as Maerad embraced Silvia. "Maerad and I brought you a present, like we said we would." He pulled a bracelet out of his pocket, with small glass beads all around it and one larger wooden one with a rose carved into it. He looped it onto Lara's wrist and was rewarded with a wide smile.

"Fank you, Cadvan," Lara said, and Cadvan ruffled her hair.

"Come inside, come and see everyone," Silvia urged, turning back inside. Lara followed her, but before Maerad could go inside also, Cadvan took her hand. She turned back and Cadvan kissed her, his lips pressing against hers until he drew away and began to kiss her neck instead. Maerad gasped quietly as he kissed the corner of her jaw.

"Maerad," he murmured seriously. "I love you so much. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you, and I hope by the Light that we are never parted."

Maerad leaned up to kiss his lips gently. "I love you too. I'm so glad you almost gave me a heart attack in that cow shed."

Cadvan laughed softly, and together they entered the house, to see their friends. And although they didn't know it at the time, in a few years Lara was to have a friend.


End file.
